We published an article on marriage last week and this week, we would like to include some guidelines for marriage communication.
1. Be a ready listener and do not answer until the other person has finished talking. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Proverbs 18:21)
2. Be slow to speak. Think first. Don’t be hasty in your words. Speak in such a way that the other person can understand and accept what you say. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” (James 1:19)
3. Speak the truth always but do it in love. Do not exaggerate. “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:6)
4. Do not use silence to frustrate the other person. Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time.
5. Do not become involved in quarrels. It is possible to disagree without quarrelling
6. Do not respond in anger. Use a soft and kind response. “How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words.” (Job 19:2)
7. When you are in the wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
8. Avoid nagging. “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” (Proverbs 27:15). “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” (Proverbs 21:9)
9. Do not blame or criticize the other but restore them, encourage them and edify them. If someone verbally attacks, criticizes or blames you, do not respond in the same manner. “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” (James 3:8-10)
10. Try to understand the other person’s opinion. Make allowances for differences. Be concerned about their interests. “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
Are you in love with the Lord?
7 Questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you think of Him often?
How often do you think of Jesus? Is He only in your thoughts during Sunday worship services? (Philippians 4:8)
2. Do you want to please Him?
Jesus’ love for God motivated him to put God’s will first in His life. (John 8:29b, John 4:34a, Luke 22:42b)
3. Do you conduct yourself so as to make a good impression? (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Does your life show that you have changed? Does your conduct confirm it?
4. Do you like to be with Him?
His invitation to all is, “Come to Me” (Matthew 11:28) Jesus was so close to Paul that he states in (Gal 2:20) “Christ lives in me.”
5. Do you have implicit faith in Him?
The Bible speaks of different degrees of faith:
“great” faith (Matthew 8:10), “strong” faith (Romans 4:20)
“little” faith (Matthew 6:30), and “weak” faith (Romans 14:1)
What kind of faith do you have in the Lord?
6. Do you want to make Him happy?
Do you enjoy giving Him gifts? Paul said that you prove “the sincerity of your love through giving. (2 Corinthians 8:8)
7. Do your present and your future center in Him?
When you sing, “Jesus is all the world to me,” do you mean it? (Philippians 3:7-8) Paul was not interested in a future that did not include Jesus. What about you?