“You Christian very good hor. You do something wrong…say sorry can already. So-o-o easy.” I wonder how many of us have heard this saying before.
Is it really that easy for a Christian to get things right again after doing it the wrong way with just a word of sorry? In another word, is it really with only a word of sorry we can have our sins forgiven?
For me, I find it very easy to confess my sins to God. God says we just need to confess our sins to Him and He is faithful and just to forgive us. (1 John 1:9) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” God is ever ready to forgive our sins. He loves us.
When it comes to confessing our sins one to another, it is a different matter even though it should be like the way we confess our sins to God. (James 5:16) “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed…” It takes so much humility and courage to say sorry to the other party. Our pride can prevent us from doing that. The fear that the other party may not want to forgive us can deter us from confessing our sins too. As sin brings along shame, pain and quilt, it is also very difficult to say sorry to the innocent party during this period of time.
In view of all these factors, I would like to say that it is not so-o-o easy to confess one’s fault one to another even though we should do it.
So, it is hard to say sorry. It is even harder to do works meet for repentance. (Acts 26:20) “… do works meet for repentance” It can be a horrendous task trying to iron out the problems that follow after sinning. We may not even have the chance to rectify the situation. The after effect of sin is really very hard to bear.
Recently I succumbed to a moment of greed and dishonesty. After that I have to spend so much effort to face up to it. It happened when I bought something from a shop behind the church building. I parted my money and collected the goods from the cashier. As I walked out of the shop, I was sure that the cashier has under charged me. I was about to turn back but a small still voice in me told me that I was wrong with my calculation. As I continued to walk away from the shop, my conscience bothered me. I knew very well that the sum paid and the amount purchased do not tally at all but the other voice in me kept telling me that it was not my fault but the cashier’s fault. I tried also to argue within myself that the shop has profited too much money. It would not make any difference whether or not I paid up the rest of the money. By this time I was very far from the shop. The rest of the day I had to try very hard not to dwell on this matter but failed.
The next day I went back to the shop. I wanted to pay back the remaining amount. I met a different cashier. I went back home and told myself that I have tried to sort out the problem. She was not there so I could keep the money now. I still could not come to term with my decision.
The next day, I went to the shop again. Still the cashier that under- charged me was not there. I felt just too tired to come another time so I gave the remaining amount of the money to the owner of the shop. I was quite happy that the matter was settled albeit not the way I really wanted it to be.
How I hoped to explain to the cashier rather than the owner of the shop. Where is she now? Was she fired because she cannot balance the account at the end of the day? Did I make her feel that this world is not a nice place to live in? Does she know that I have gotten right with myself? Oh! How I wished that I have paid her the right amount right at the beginning. Until today, I still feel very bad when I think of her. It is just impossible to straighten out the matter with her any more. The ending was not what I expected it to be. I have to live with this fact for the rest of my life. Come to think of it, I do not want to sin. The consequences are too much for us to bear. It is just too time consuming to undo the problems which follow. For some, the wrong can never be put right and have to live with them for the rest of their lives. It is emotionally so very draining.
I would not even want to go near sin also when I think of the Son of God dying on the cross for me. For every sin that I commit, I made Him bleed so that my sin could be washed away. It is like crucifying Him again and again when I sin. He is gracious towards me so, can I continue to sin? Nay. God forbid. (Romans 6:1,2) “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?”
Even though it is easy for me to confess my sins to God, I will not want to sin. Moreover, I would not want hell as my eternal dwelling place. As I look back, there were times I triumphed and there were times I faltered. At all times, I want to repent and ask God to search my heart. (Psalms 139: 23, 24) “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
So, is it easy to say sorry after sinning? In the first place, I do not even want to sin.